Holidays. Bittersweet.

One thing that I have noticed, as I have gotten older, is that the magic of the holidays seems to be dimming. What happened to me waking up at 4 am to open presents from Santa Mom and Dad. What happened to the unity, the bliss, and the excitement? I know a lot of it has to do with me moving out of the house. Living with roommates is absolutely wonderful, and am so blessed to have people in my life that can encourage me and uplift - even from across the hall (I love you Al!) But it's not the same as that childhood bed. It's not the same as mom making pancakes after presents are opened. It's not the same as dad, getting me scrunchies and dental floss every single year in my stocking (smiles).

Every Easter we used to have mounds of people over. We would grill, have a huge easter egg hunt with all of my cousins and friends (which was entertaining, seeing as we were all older, and hunting down eggs with money in them, and the 3 yr olds across the street were tottering around searching for candy filled eggs), and the ever so wonderful egg toss/egg fight.

A lot has changed since my parents got divorced two years ago, and I am still learning how to adjust myself to it. Splitting my time evenly. Trying to maintain some rituals without bringing up sour memories. Accepting new family and routines into my life. Basically, just realizing, that it will never be the same.

I really miss having a whole family, but I know that even though we aren't all together at the same time, that I still have them. My mom and dad are both supportive of who I am, and constantly tell me how much they love me. Not many people can even say that they have that. Every year it gets a little easier to accept, and every year God shows me a new blessing that I have received throughout all of this pain. This year I have a new brother. I have always wanted a sibling, and now I have one. As of the 26th of this month, he will legally be related to me, and words cannot express how excited I am to go to the court house and give him a big hug as soon as he is declared a "LeVasseur". I pray constantly that he realizes how blessed he is to have his mom and my dad there for him. I am so thankful that my dad gets to be a part of his life from such a young age, and pour into him. I never got that when I was little.

(sighs)

Needless to say, this Easter is bittersweet. I won't be seeing any of my family, and I will be at work all day, but I do get to spend it with wonderful co-workers and my lovely roommate, Allison!

Most importantly, we wouldn't even have an Easter, if it weren't for a Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, who so selflessly died on the cross, for all of our pain and sins. He rose again and is living in us, giving us the will and gift to live our lives with Him by our side!