MY RENTAL CAR AND I ARE PARTING WAYS AS OF TOMORROW AFTERNOON. I HAVE YET TO COMPREHEND WHAT LIFE WILL BE LIKE WITHOUT AN AUTOMOBILE. I AM CERTAIN IT WILL BE A HUMBLING, AND FRUSTRATING SCENARIO. THIS AFTERNOON I RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM THE INSURANCE ADJUSTER OF THE TRUCK THAT HIT ME. SHE SAID THAT SHE WAS THE "NEW" ADJUSTER, PROCEEDING TO EXPLAIN THAT THE PREVIOUS ADJUSTER HAD DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO MOVE THIS CASE ALONG. INCLUDING NEVER CHECKING OUT MY CAR AT THE TOWING LOT. NEEDLESS TO SAY MY STRESS LEVEL HAS RISEN A FEW DEGREES. I AM STILL SHORT $230 FOR BILLS, BUT I AM TRUSTING IN PROVISION AT WORK THIS WEEK. I AM ALSO TRUSTING IN PROVISION ON RIDES TO AND FROM WORK. OR MAYBE THE PROVISION OF WINGS? LITERALLY? I'VE DRANK RED BULL BEFORE, BUT I NEVER DRANK IT WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY PRAYING I WOULD SPROUT WINGS.... COULD WORK.
THIS WEEK HAS BEEN ENTERTAINING. I RETURNED TO MY DIET OF RAMEN NOODLES (99 CENTS FOR 6 PACKS). I HAVE MET A MALE IN FULL BODY PAINT, A UNITARD, DECKED OUT WITH FAKE BOOBS, AND A HUGE BUTT, DECLARING HIMSELF NICKI MINAJ. MOST IMPORTANTLY I SURPRISED MY LITTLE BROTHER IN SPRING HILL TONIGHT, TO TAKE HIM TRICK OR TREATING. NIGHTS WITH HIM ARE FILLED WITH PRICELESS QUOTES, SUCH AS: UGH. I'VE SEEN THAT COW COSTUME A HUNDRED TIMES. IT'S SO OLD. SKULLZOR IS WAY BETTER! AND LOOK! MY BAG OF CANDY WEIGHS SO MUCH IT'S LIKE LIFTING A DUMBELL. IM GETTING MUSCLES FROM PEOPLE GIVING ME CANDY! AND, AS TRADITION STANDS, I HAVE TAUGHT HIM YET AGAIN ANOTHER SONG THAT A 5 YEAR OLD SHOULD NOT BE SINGING. AFTER RUNNING INTO A BOY DRESSED AS GEORGE MICHAEL, PLAYING THE SAX AS HE STRUTTED THE STREETS, I NATURALLY TOOK THE MOMENT TO IMPLANT "FATHER FIGURE" IN MATTHEW'S HEAD. ALONG WITH THE PREVIOUSLY EMBEDDED "BUMP N GRIND". I WOULD SAY MY NIGHT WAS A COMPLETE SUCCESS.
