SOMETIMES I FEEL AS IF I AM SITTING IN A CLASSROOM, AT A UNIVERSITY. A STUDENT OF THE CLASS OF LIFE. A STUDENT OF THE CLASS OF KNOWING YOURSELF. EACH DAY I AM ABSOLUTELY AMAZED AT HOW MUCH MORE IN TUNE AND CONFIDENT I AM IN WHAT DRIVES ME. WHAT INSPIRES ME. WHAT I AM ATTRACTED TO. AND WHAT I AM REPULSED BY. WHAT I NEED. WHAT I DESIRE. THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT MYSELF THAT FOR SO LONG I REFUSED TO BECOME MY IDENTITY. THOSE THINGS NOW HAVE BECOME THE CORE OF MY PERSONALITY. TALK ABOUT A VAGUE RANT. I HAVE LEFT YOU WITH SO MANY CHARACTERISTICS ABOUT MYSELF, COMPLETELY UNIDENTIFIED. LET ME SETTLE ON ONE OR TWO KEY POINTS (WHICH WILL PROBABLY TURN INTO SIX OR SEVEN... LET'S JUST BE HONEST). FIRST AND FOREMOST, I HAVE ALWAYS FELT TOO BOLD. TOO MUCH LIKE THE MAN IN ANY RELATIONSHIP/FRIENDSHIP. BLAME IT ON MY YANKEE ROOTS. ATTACH IT TO MY STRONG MORALS, OR THE FACT THAT I AM JEWISH. EITHER WAY, I HAVE ALWAYS WISHED I WERE MORE FEMININE. I HAVE ALWAYS WISHED I WERE INTRIGUED BY SPARKLES AND GEMS. ALAS, I AM MORE INTRIGUED BY GREY TONES AND WOOL. LATELY I HAVE BEEN MEDITATING ON THE BEAUTY OF ME. (ONCE AGAIN I SWEAR I AM NOT CONCEITED). I HAD A FRIEND ONCE TELL ME, "THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU, ONE HALI, IN THE WHOLE WORLD. YOU ARE COMPLETELY UNIQUE IN YOURSELF. WHY WOULD YOU BE SELF CONSCIOUS?" EVEN THOUGH I SHRUGGED OFF HIS REMARK AND CONTINUED TO SIP MY BEER (OBVIOUSLY), I REALLY PONDERED ON THAT THOUGHT. THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE ME. I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ORIGINAL HALI - NO MIDDLE NAME - LEVASSEUR. WHY WOULD I WANT TO BECOME SOMEONE ELSE. I HAVE ALWAYS LIKED BEING SLIGHTLY UNIQUE. THESE PONDERINGS LEAD ME TO REALLY EMBRACE MY BOLDNESS. MY FORTHRIGHT PERSPECTIVE ON THE WORLD. I HAVE A FEELING THAT A SIDE OF ME WANTED TO BECOME LIKE "OTHER GIRLS", BECAUSE I SAW THEM GETTING ATTENTION. BEING ASKED OUT. SEEMING SO HAPPY. BUT WHAT I NEVER REALLY LOOKED AT WAS HOW SHORT LIVED THEIR ROMANCES, FRIENDSHIPS, ETC WERE. WHEN THEY WERE ALL IN A COMMUNAL PERSONALITY, THEY WEREN'T ABLE TO LIVE UP TO THEIR OWN POTENTIAL, AND WERE SETTLING CONSTANTLY. THOUGH I MAY NOT BE GETTING A TON OF ATTENTION, OR HAVE MEN ASKING ME OUT, I AM CONFIDENT IN KNOWING THAT EVERYTHING THAT EVENTUALLY COMES MY WAY, THAT STICKS, WILL BE PERFECTLY MATCHED. PERFECTLY IN SYNC (BYE BYE BYEEEEE). PERFECTLY MINE.
I KNOW THAT WAS A JUMBLE SHMUMBLE. SORRY ABOUT IT.
I AM DONE.
OVER AND OUT.
