I was thinking today, about being back in middle school. Being back at Woodlawn church. Every year, a friend of mine would put out a survey for all of the youth group to fill out about each other. It had the typical "Most likely to become president" or "The jock" or "Most likely to become a hobo", but I always won the same category every single year, and every single year it scarred me more and more. I was declared, almost always unanimously, as "The biggest flirt". That is right ladies and gents, I was the youth groups flighty little flirt, and to this day it frustrates me. My perception of flirting is ridiculously skewed now. And honestly, the thought of flirting, unless it is harmless goofing off with my male friends who are practically my brothers, freaks me out! Don't get me wrong, once in a while, involuntarily something will slip out. But for the most part, I find myself quite reserved and usually ending up in the friend zone. I tend to replace flirting with sarcasm. I become very talkative and quick witted when I am around someone I like. I fake hit them. And poke fun. But if you ask me to be mooshy gooshy and complimentary, I really don't know what to do! Now. When I am in a relationship, I am IN IT. I don't date, just to date. And I treat that man like a king. My love language is giving gifts. I love to think of fun places to surprise him with, or funny things to get him. I love to plan nights with some of his favorite things I have picked up on in conversations. One time I remember a guy telling me that he LOVED lasagna from Buca. So I ordered, just for him (since I don't eat meat), a whole lasagna and a side of vegetables. I bought him his favorite movie, the deluxe and restored edition of The Nightmare Before Christmas. I bought him his favorite soda. I lit candles, and had christmas lights hanging up all over. Nothing makes me happier than seeing the people I care about happy! Whether it be in a relationship or friendship. Although there will always be sarcasm swimming around there somewhere.
Next thought of the day: I used to love writing poems, and songs, all the time. I don't really know when that stopped, but I miss it. Delving into the depths of your heart and turning emotions into a work of art that captivates the attention of an audience. What a wonderful gift! I never really shared anything I wrote. It was more of a verbal form of journaling for myself. But I have always admired people who can put themselves out there for the world to see! Gosh, I even dreaded playing a piano piece that I didn't even write, in front of an audience. I always hated when my mom would make me play for dinner guests. I am not sure if it was because I grew up going to the symphony, and I knew what a perfect performance sounded like. What a perfect performance should do to an audience, and I was definitely not on the same level as the pianists performing with the DSO. (sighs) But God gives everyone different gifts, and mine just wasn't one to be shared with the world. He gave that gift to others instead.
Bon Soir.
