I AM NOT ONE TO NOTICE ANY MALE ATTENTION GIVEN TO ME. INQUIRE ANYONE IN MY LIFE, AND THEY WILL INFORM YOU OF MY OBLIVIOUS NATURE. IT GOES AGAINST EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING TO EVEN PROCESS A THOUGHT THAT I COULD INQUIRE THE ATTENTION OF A MAN. BUT WAIT. HAS A VEIL BEEN LIFTED FROM MY EYES? COULD IT BE? AN ATTRACTIVE MAN GIVING ME ATTENTION? CATCHING MY EYE FROM ACROSS THE ROOM? SMILING AT ME? IS THERE GUACAMOLE ON MY FACE? NO, I HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED GUACAMOLE YET. IS IT QUESO DIP? I PASS BY HIS TABLE. HE STOPS ME. WAIT A MINUTE, I AM NOT HIS SERVER. HIS SERVER WAS JUST AT HIS TABLE. "EXCUSE ME (SMILES) MAY I HAVE SOME MORE WATER?" I BLUSH. I RETURN WITH WATER. HE STARES AT ME AS I FILL HIS GLASS. WE LOCK EYES. I TURN THE UNFORTUNATE GOD AWEFUL RED OF THE MAN'S OHIO STATE JERSEY AT THE BAR. I QUICKLY DEPART. SOMEHOW, SOMEWHERE WITHIN ME ARISES CONFIDENCE. MAYBE I DO GET NOTICED? MAYBE I DON'T LOOK UTTERLY PATHETIC IN MY TACO SHIRT. INFACT, THE LIGHT BLUE WORDING MIGHT ACTUALLY BRING OUT MY EYES! HIS TABLE IS GETTING UP TO LEAVE. MAYBE HE WILL SAY BYE TO ME. OH MY LANTA WHAT IF HE ASKS FOR MY PHONE NUMBER? I HAVE ONLY GIVEN MY PHONE NUMBER OUT ONCE AND THE GUY ENDED UP BEING GAY. THIS COULD BE EPIC. HERE HE COMES. HE'S STOPPING. "THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE WATER! (SMILES) (WAVES)." AHAAA LOOKY THERE, WEDDING RING. WHATS UP. WAY TO DRAIN ANY ROSY COMPLEXION FROM MY FACE. DID I SUDDENLY DEVELOP A GAG REFLEX? I THINK I LIKE BEING OBLIVIOUS.

TRUE STORY.