18.10.11

RUNNING FROM THE POPO

SHAWOWZA.

I AM NOT SURE IF WORDS COULD CLEARLY DEPICT THE ORGANIC BEAUTY OF THE LAST FEW DAYS OF MY LIFE, BUT I WILL CHRONICLE THE EXPERIENCES AS BEST AS MY FINGERS WILL ALLOW ME TO. THE JOURNEY BEGAN ON FRIDAY MORNING, 5:30 AM, WHEN I WOKE UP TO AN ADORABLE CAT NAMED SAM, TELLING ME VIA PURRS THAT I NEEDED TO GET OUT OF BED. A FEW SWIPES OF A FLAT IRON LATER I WAS IN THE CAR AND ON MY WAY TO REBECCA'S HOUSE. JOHN MAYER'S VOICE OBVIOUSLY GREETED HER WHEN SHE ENTERED THE AUTOMOBILE. ON THE DRIVE TO BRAD'S HOUSE SHE SHARED WITH ME THE MOST PRECIOUS GIFT I HAVE EVER RECEIVED.... KITTEN MITTENS.


I EASILY COULD PLACE THIS IN MY PERSONAL TOP 5 VIDEOS VIEWED ON YOUTUBE. I REALLY HAVE TO SAY, IF ANYONE EVER STEALS MY COMPUTER, HEAVEN FORBID, THEY ARE GOING TO BE PLEASANTLY PLEASED WITH ALL OF THE "SEARCHES" IN MY HISTORY, AND DOWNLOADS IN MY HARD DRIVE. BRAD, REBECCA, AND I KILLED SOME TIME AT THE LESS GHETTO KROGER IN EAST NASHVILLE WHILE WE WAITED FOR CARLTON (TYPICAL SCENARIO). UPON THIS TIME FRAME WE SOMEHOW STUMBLED UPON THE WORD "BUZZAR" AND QUICKLY CREATED THE JOKE THAT WOULD EFFORTLESSLY LEAVE REBECCA IN A FIT OF LAUGHTER THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE TRIP. 
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU
MIX A BEE AND A PIRATE?
BUZZARRRRRGH

A HARTY THIRTY MINUTES LATER WE WERE ON THE ROAD TO SANDUSKY. A PIT STOP AT SKYLINE AND 96 TALLY MARKS ON OUR UNINTENTIONAL SEXUAL INUENDO GAME, WE MADE IT TO THE STATE THAT POSSES THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PLACE ON EARTH - CEDAR POINT. REBECCA AND I QUICKLY CAME TOT HE CONCLUSION THAT SHE AND I WOULD BE THE PEOPLE BARTERING FOR THE BEST HOTEL PRICE. WE ALSO WERE THE ONES WHO QUICKLY REALIZED WE NEEDED TO CHANGE FROM SEARCHING "HOTELS" TO "MOTELS". AFTER INSTRUCTION CARLTON TO MAPQUEST US TO THE MOTELS WITH THE SKETCHIEST NAMES, REBECCA AND I CLEARLY FOUND OUR PRIME TARGET, "BEST BUDGET MOTEL". WE WERE GREETED BY BROCK, WHO HAD YELLOW CROOKED TEETH, A HEALTHY BEER BELLY, AND A RECEDING HAIRLINE. WE POURED OUT OUR DESPERATE STORY OF DRIVING FROM NASHVILLE AND SPENDING MOST OF OUR MONEY ON GAS. OF STOPPING BY THREE OTHER HOTELS AND GETTING TOLD THAT IT WOULD BE $100 FOR A NIGHT. WE EVEN COMPLIMENTED HIM WATCHING AFV ON THE LOBBY TV. A FLASH OF A SMILE FROM THOSE BEAUTIFUL YELLOW TEETH LATER, WE WERE IN A ROOM WITH THREE BEDS FOR $50. WE USHERED THE BOYS INTO THE ROOM, CLEANED OURSELVES UP, AND HEADED TO TGI FRIDAYS F. OR BRAD'S BIRTHDAY DINNER AND FINALLY MEETING UP WITH LEAH AND KAITI (WHO DROVE TO SEE US FROM DETROIT). THE THREE WAY HUG, WHEN LEAH, KAITI, AND I FINALLY UNITED, WAS EPICLY POWERFUL. SO MUCH SO THAT KAITI ENDED UP WITH A BLOODY LIP. WE GORGED OURSELVES WITH SALMON, BURGERS, AND STEAK. BRAD OPENED UP HIS BIRTHDAY GIFTS, WHICH INCLUDED BREAKAWAY SHORTS BY CHRIS BROWN. WE TRIED TO GET HIM TO TEST THEM OUT ON THE DECK OUTSIDE FRIDAYS, BUT THE STARES FROM FAMILIES THROUGH THE WINDOWS REFRAINED HIM FROM DOING SO. THE STARES DID NOT REFRAIN US FROM SETTING TIMERS ON OUR CAMERAS AND JUMPING AROUND LIKE MANIACS FOR PICTURES. AFTER DINNER WE TREKED TO THE WALMART OF THE NORTH, MEIJERS, WHERE WE PURCHASED WINE, ROOTBEER, AND ICE CREAM. A QUICK RIDE ON THE PENNY HORSE LATER AND WE WERE OFF TO THE HOTEL TO ENJOY AN EVENING OF SING ALONGS WITH BACKSTREET BOYS, AN EPISODE OF FRIENDS, AND THOROUGHLY ENJOYING DRUNK CARLTON TALKING TO CORY DUNSON ON THE PHONE. 

I VAGUELY REMEMBER HUGGING LEAH AND KAITI GOODBYE AROUND 6 AM, AS THE DEPARTED FOR THE MITTEN. AS HEART BREAKING AS IT WAS TO SAY GOODBYE TO THEM, SLEEP STILL WON OUT. AROUND 9:30 THE REST OF US SLOWLY STARTED WAKING UP. BRAD AND CARLTON WERE ZONED IN ON ESPN, REBECCA WAS SHOWERING, AND AS I ROSE MY FIRST WORDS WERE "I HAVE DATED SOME REALLY STRANGE GUYS". ABOUT AN HOUR LATER, WE WERE LAYERED WITH HOODIES. WE PIT STOPPED AT MEIJERS ONE LAST TIME BEFORE MAKING OUR WAY TO THE LAND OF COASTERS. REBECCA AND I WAITED FOR THE GATE TO OPEN BY OURSELVES. CARLTON AND BRAD HAD TO HEAD BACK TO THE CAR FOR SOMETHING THEY NEVER ENDED UP TELLING US ABOUT. ALTHOUGH, ALONE DIDNT LAST LONG. WE QUICKLY MADE FRIENDS WITH A LITTLE BOY AND HIS DAD STANDING BEHIND US. EVAN (THE BOY) AND DAN (THE DAD) WERE MICHIGAN FANS AND ROLLERCOASTER ENTHUSIASTS (CHARLIE VOICE). WE QUICKLY WERE GAGING EVAN'S COASTER HARDCORE-NESS BY ASKING HIM WHAT RIDES WERE HIS FAVORITE. IF HE PUT HIS HANDS UP. AND WHAT ROWS HE WOULD RIDE IN. HIS WIRE AND BLUE RUBBER BAND LINED SMILE INSTANTLY MELTED OUR HEARTS. WITH A QUICK HI-FIVE AND THE OPENING OF THE GATES, WE PARTED WAYS. REBECCA AND I RACED TO THE MANTIS, WHERE THE CONDUCTOR OF THE RIDE EFFORTLESSLY RACKED UP AN EXTRA 30 POINTS FOR OUR INNUENDO TALLY GAME. AFTER RIDING FRONT ROW, HANDS UP, WE MET UP WITH BRAD AND CARLTON, WHO WERE HOLDING PLACES IN LINE FOR MILLENNIUM FORCE. WHILE IN LINE REBECCA, LIKE A PRO, CONVINCED BRAD TO ACTUALLY GET ON THE RIDE. CARLTON AND I WOULD RIDE FRONT ROW. BRAD AND REBECCA RIGHT BEHIND US. THE TRAIN RIGHT BEFORE OURS NEEDED A SINGLE RIDER FOR THE FRONT ROW. THE CONDUCTORS WERE ASKING EVERYONE AND ANYONE IF THEY WANTED TO HOP ON RIGHT AWAY, NO WAIT. NEXT THING WE KNOW, AS WE LOOK BACK AT THE RIDE, EVAN IS LOCKED AND LOADED IN THE FRONT ROW. WE GAVE HIM AIR HI-FIVES AND APPLAUDED HIS BRAVERY. HIS DAD WALKED UP NEXT TO US, TAKING PICTURES OF HIS SON, AND SAID "LOOKS LIKE HIM SON IS MORE HARDCORE THAN YOU..." IN THAT VERY INSTANT REBECCA AND I FELT LIKE PROUD MOMS. THE REST OF THE DAY ENTAILED BRAD BUYING ME AND REBECCA BEERS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. CARLTON LOSING HIS PHONE ON THE MAGNUM. AND CARLTON, BRAD, AND REBECCA AND I WAITING 3 HOURS FOR THE DRAGSTER, WHICH ENDED UP CLOSING FOR THE NIGHT BECAUSE OF TECHNICAL PROBLEMS BEFORE WE EVEN GOT TO RIDE IT. ALL IN ALL THE DAY WAS ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR. PROBABLY THE BEST EXPERIENCE AT CEDAR POINT I HAVE EVER HAD. 

INSTEAD OF DRIVING BACK TO NASHVILLE AT MIDNIGHT WHEN THE PARK CLOSED, LIKE ORIGINALLY PLANNED, WE DECIDED TO DRIVE TWO AND A HALF HOURS TO DETROIT TO SURPRISE LEAH. AFTER SOME SECRET TEXTING COMMUNICATION WITH LEAHS MOM, WE ENDED UP IN ON HER DOORSTEP AT THREE AM. I CRAWLED INTO BED, WHERE LEAH WAS SLEEPING, AND ASKED IF IT WAS OKAY IF I JOINED HER. 90% A SLEEP AND 10% AWAKE SHE BEAMED, HUGGED ME, AND ASKED IF SHE WAS DREAMING. THE REST OF US LOADED OUR STUFF INTO THE HOUSE AND SLEPT FOR 5 HOURS. BRAD AND CARLTON WERE AWAKENED BY RICKY, LEAHS LITTLE BROTHER, BREAKING INTO HIS BEDROOM THROUGH THE WINDOW. RICKY NOT EXPECTING TWO GROWN MEN TO BE SLEEPING ON HIS BED. BRAD AND CARLTON NOT EXPECTING FALLING BOOKS AND HUMANS LANDING ON THEM AS A WAKE UP CALL. WE ALL WENT TO CHURCH FOR WORSHIP, THEN HEADED OUT TO SHOW THE NASHVILLE CREW DETROIT. BRAD, PROBABLY THE MOST EXCITED OF THE BUNCH, INSISTED ON DRIVING DOWN 8 MILE LISTENING TO EMINEM. WE WENT BY THE TIGER'S AND LION'S STADIUMS. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY TO EXPERIENCE CONEY DOGS OFF OF LAFAYETTE IN THE HEART OF DETROIT, WHERE I SOMEHOW MANAGED TO RUN INTO MY FIRST BOYFRIEND'S PARENTS AND LITTLE SISTER. TALK ABOUT BUZZARRRR-LY BEAUTIFUL! AFTER OUR STOMACHES WERE FULL, MIKE TOOK US TO SEE SOME OLD HOUSES BEING TURNED INTO ART. COVERED IN GORGEOUS GRAFFITI, AND CUSTOM MADE WINDOW PANES. AFTER SOME EXPLORATION AND STARING IN AWE AT THE CREATIVITY INVESTED INTO THE HOUSES BY LOCALS, WE HEADED ACROSS THE STREET DETROIT'S OLD TRAIN STATION. PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BUILDINGS I HAVE EVER SEEN, YET SADLY ABANDONED. 


THE WHOLE BUILDING IS SURROUNDED BY TALL FENCES WITH BARBED WIRE. MIKE SAID THAT HE SNEAKS IN ALL THE TIME, JUST MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR ID'S ON YOU. HE TOOK US AROUND TO THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE BUILDING WHERE THERE IS A FENCE WITH A GAP IN IT. MIKE, ANTHONY, LEAH, AND BRAD HOP RIGHT IN (BRAD FULLY WANTING TO EXPERIENCE DETROIT). REBECCA, CARLTON, AND I STAND OUTSIDE THE FENCE STARING AT THE SIGN THAT SAYS "NO TRESPASSING. VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED." WE DECIDE TO STAY OUTSIDE AND BE ON LOOK OUT, WHEN REALLY WE WERE JUST SAYING THAT WE WERE WIMPS. AS THE THREE OF US ROUNDED BACK TO THE FRONT OF THE STATION THERE ARE 4 PEOPLE WHO SAW OUR FRIENDS INSIDE AND ASKED HOW THEY GOT IN. ONE OF THE GUYS WAS CARRYING A REALLY NICE CAMERA, AND WANTED SOME PHOTOGRAPHY OF THE BUILDING. WE TOLD THEM THERE WAS A WAY AROUND THE CORNER RIGHT NEXT TO THE SIGN THAT SAYS VIOLATORS WILL BE PROSECUTED. THEY SAID THANKS, AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW THEY WERE HOPPING THE FENCE. FIVE MINUTES LATER WE SEE A WHITE TRUCK WITH LIGHTS ON IT CIRCLING THE BUILDING STRANGELY. WHEN THE TRUCK DRIVES AWAY FOR A MINUTE WE LOOK AND SEE THE GROUP OF 4 PEOPLE WHO HAD JUST GOT OVER THE FENCE DUCKING BEHIND A DUMPSTER. THEY WERE SIGNING TO US, ASKING IF WE KNEW A WAY OUT. NEXT THING WE KNOW 5 COP CARS/TRUCK COME SWARMING UP WITH THEIR LIGHTS ON. SOME HIPSTERS WHO WERE TAKING PICTURES OF THE TRAIN STATION POINTED THE GROUP OF 4 HIDING BEHIND THE DUMPSTER OUT TO THE COPS (DOUCHES), AND THAT'S WHEN REBECCA, CARLTON, AND I STARTED TO PANIC. I TRIED CALLING LEAH BUT SHE DIDN'T ANSWER HER PHONE. I TEXT BRAD THAT THERE WERE COPS SURROUNDING THE BUILDING, BUT HE DIDNT RESPOND. EVENTUALLY LEAH ANSWERED HER PHONE AND I TOLD HER THAT THEY NEEDED TO GET OUT. THAT THERE WERE COPS OPENING THE GATES AND HEADED INTO THE BUILDING. THAT THERE WAS ANOTHER GROUP INSIDE TOO. IN THE BACKGROUND I HEARD BRAD SAY, "OH MAN SHE WASN'T JOKING!". (KEEP IN MIND THIS WHOLE TIME REBECCA, CARLTON, AND I ARE BOTH STOKED WE DIDN'T GO INSIDE, AND WE ARE TRYING TO ACT LIKE WE ARE JUST SPECTATORS, HAVING KNOW IDEA WHATS GOING ON OR WHO IS INSIDE.) I ASKED LEAH WHERE THEY WERE AND SHE SAID, "LOOK UP..." SO I AM LOOKING IN SOME OF THE TOP WINDOWS, AND SHE SAYS, "ALL THE WAY UP!" AND THERE THEY ARE. ON THE ROOF OF THE BUILDING. I TOLD THEM TO STAY UP THERE. THAT MAYBE IF THE COPS CATCH THE OTHER GROUP OF 4 THEY WON'T SUSPECT ANYONE ELSE INSIDE THE BUILDING AND WILL LEAVE. THEN LEAH AND THE GANG COULD GET OUT. 5 MINUTES LATER THE COPS CAUGHT THE OTHER GROUP BUT THREE COPS STAYED SURROUNDING THE BUILDING. ONE WAS LOCATED WHERE THE GAP IN THE FENCE WAS... THE ONLY WAY OUT.  (THIS WHOLE TIME REBECCA, CARLTON, AND I ARE TRYING TO DECIDE IF THE COPS BLATANTLY ASK US IF WE HAVE FRIENDS UP IN THE BUILDING IF WE SHOULD TELL THE TRUTH OR LIFE. DO WE GET INVOLVED ANY MORE? WE ARE ALREADY TRYING TO HELP THEM RUN FROM THE COPS. WE CAN'T AFFORD A TICKET.) THEY LET THE GROUP OF 4 GO. WE ASKED THEM WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND THEY SAID THAT THE COPS WERE SENDING THEM TICKETS INT HE MAIL AND THAT IT WAS A FEDERAL OFFENSE AND THEY WERE LUCKY THEY DIDN'T GET ARRESTED. IN MY HEAD ALL I COULD THINK WAS DAAAAYUMMMM. I CALLED LEAH AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION. I TOLD HER THERE WAS STILL A COP SITTING AT THE EXIT. SHE SAID THAT THEY WERE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO GO DOWN AND PROBABLY GET A TICKET. I TOLD HER THAT CARLTON, REBECCA, AND I WERE GOING TO GO WALK AROUND A DIFFERENT STREET SO WE DIDN'T LOOK SUSPICIOUS BEING THERE STARING THE WHOLE TIME AND TALKING ON THE PHONE. SHE SAID THEY WOULD CALL WHEN THEY KNEW WHAT WAS UP. 15 MINUTES LATER SHE CALLS ME AND SAYS THEY WERE BY THE CAR. WHEN WE ALL MET UP THEY SAID THEY CAME DOWN TO THE EXIT AND SAW THE COP AND INSTANTLY CHANGED THEIR MINDS ABOUT GETTING TICKETS OR POSSIBLY GETTING ARRESTED. THEY DARTED TO THE BACK OF THE BUILDING AND REALIZED THE ONLY WAY OUT WAS TO JUMP THE THE BARBED WIRE FENCE. LUCKILY LEAH AND MIKE WERE SMALL ENOUGH TO WIGGLE UNDER THE FENCE, WITH BRAD AND ANTHONY LIFTING IT UP AS MUCH AS THEY COULD. THE TWO OF THE ESCAPED WITH GRASS STAINS AND SCRATCHES. BRAD AND ANTHONY HAD TO CLIMB THE FENCE THOUGH, AND ESCAPED WITH CUTS AND BLOOD. NEEDLESS TO SAY, BRAD REALLY GOT TO EXPERIENCE DETROIT.

TAKING A BREAK FROM THE POPO, I WENT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY COUSIN JENNY AND HER PARENTS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS AFTER THAT GRAND ADVENTURE. REBECCA, CARLTON, AND BRAD SPENT SOME TIME IN DOWNTOWN ROYAL OAK WITH MIKE AND ANTHONY. AND LEAH SPENT SOME TIEM WITH HER FAMILY WHO WAS IN TOWN. WE ALL MET BACK UP WITH LEAH AND HER GRANDPARENTS HOUSE AND HEADED OUT FROM THERE TO GO BOWLING. REBECCA AND I SHARED A PITCHER OF CANADIAN BEER IN HONOR OF BRAD'S BIRTHDAY. CARLTON GOT HIMSELF A PITCHER OF BEER, WHICH WAS EXCITING FOR US ALL BECAUSE TIPSY CARLTON IS A HOOT. A FEW GLASSES IN AND HE LET LEAH AND I TAT UP HIS ARMS WITH A SHARPIE. I LOVE THAT MY FRIENDS ARE SO WELCOMING. THAT WE CAN SPONTANEOUSLY DRIVE TO DETROIT AND BECOME ONE GIANT FAMILY. NO OTHER TRIP COULD POSSIBLY TOP THIS ONE FOR THE YEAR. I AM SO BLESSED. 

PS. THE TALLY REACHED 308