George Clooney and the Crystal Clear Crazies.

Forewarning that this post will probably sound repetitive to previous ones. I am assuming. Sometimes I feel as if I have the same thoughts and scenarios that run through my head, in quarterly waves. Let's narrow in on the current wave: The older I get, the more I am aware of what I need in a spouse. The more bold I am with stopping myself from getting into a fling with a clear ending in sight. The more hesitant I am to go past one date with someone. The more guilty I feel for flirting, because I associate it with the potential of leading someone on. Basically the older I get, the more I wish God would deliver my husband to my porch step, like a stork delivers a baby to his or hers appropriate family. I realize that going out on dates, and receiving gifts from men is a happy and genuinely pleasant experience for most girls. I am openly acknowledging that I get inside my head far too much and talk myself into a whirlpool of crazies. Yet, these crazies seem so crystal clear to me. They are my perfect prescription, which very few can peer through with ease. Take for instance my requirements (harsh and conceited sounding, I know) for my future hunk: I want him to desire to pursue me, and not feel like he needs to because it's the right thing to do. I want him to receive fulfillment by surprising me, like I get by surprising him. I want him to yearn to protect me. I want him to be bold, challenging, and completely open with communication. I want him to love Jesus so much that he is attracted to the King's beauty in me more than my physical beauty. Honestly, that's about it. Is that too much? Am I too picky? I have had these same desires continuously grow in me for years. I firmly believe that they are in my heart for a reason, and connected to a specific man out there, preferably Jimmy Fallon, Jordan Knight, John Mayer, James Morrison, or George Clooney. Over and out.