I love being tested and questioned. Well. Okay, I love it and hate it at the same time. My wonderful friend Tori has really been putting me in my place as of late. Our main communication is via Skype, seeing as she lives in Georgia. Often times during our conversations I find myself glaring at the computer screen when she starts questioning my judgment, haha. But then I end up laughing and shaking my head, realizing that she is dead on. I am not where I should be with my thoughts. Through her beautiful, and slightly annoying (smiles), interrogation I have really been able to hone in on the root of things. And it is definitely a lack of self confidence. I definitely try to portray myself in a strong independent manner to people, but inside is a whole different story. I have come a long way since middle school, but a big part of me doesn't see beauty, doesn't see brains, and doesn't see strength when I look in the mirror. This mindset starts to affect my thought process when it comes to friendships and relationships. But now that I am owning up to this, now that I am putting it out there for the world to see, I am going to start changing things. First and foremost it is time to start inserting prayer into my life specifically towards these issues. And, I really don't know who reads these meek postings of mine, but if you do, will you apply prayer towards me in your life? I need to learn trust. And I need to learn confidence. I am asking and I am ready to receive! (smiles)
On a more light-hearted note, tonight is going to be an adventure! My roomies, Allison, Tausha, and I are going to the filming of a new show on CMT. Apparently it is somewhat like American Idol, in the fact that there are country singers vying to be the ultimate singer! Aha, but they all live in a house together, and each week someone gets voted off. Tonight we get to see what these folks are really about! That is pretty much all I know, but what I do know is that they better beware. Cause with Allison, Tausha, and I in the building we are about to bring a crap load of entertainment off that stage (winks)
so long for now world wide web.
