I hope Jesus doesn't mind that I cuss once in a while.

I am sitting outside in shorts and a hoodie, next to Kristin's pool. Glasses perched a'top my Jew nose. A mug of cinnamon spice tea by my side, frequently being held as I pause writing. And I am completely satisfied. I am surrounded by friends who are uplifting and filled with the wisdom of God. And who think that they are epic divers (glances over to the pool) ... not so much.

I have been in this slump. A slump of not knowing what I should or shouldn't be doing in life. A slump where I wanted all the answers and was frustrated because I felt like I couldn't find the right road to get to them. Frustrated that I couldn't fully enjoy my time with friends because of lingering thoughts in the back of my head.

Excuse my language, but today God bitch slapped me upside the face. He showed me that I am free in Him. That He delights in my excitement over small things. That He is overjoyed with my childlike faith. That He longs to bless me, not when I am only doing things right, but just because. He wants to me to ease up, to relax, and to enjoy the life that He has given me.

I feel like we so often put God in this box. We subconsciously confine Him. He is so much more than what we portray Him as in my mind. We often picture God as this Man that has a plan. And if we are not constantly focused and putting every ounce of energy into figuring out what that is then we are living life off the path He wants us on. YES He does have a plan. But He delights in seeing us at ease, enjoying life, and seeking Him. Because when we seek Him, His plans naturally fall into clarity. Sometimes though they aren't clear, there will ALWAYS be an unknown. We will never fully understand Him. I know I so often try so hard to understand it all that it just stresses me out, makes me lose focus, and gets me into a pissy mood. All of those emotions I just stated are not from God. He wants us to be joyous and free spirited!

--

Irving is alive and well! I put new foliage in his bowl that floats near the surface, and he LOVES it! He takes naps on top of a few sprigs to the right every day. I think I feed him too much though. If he looks at me, I give him food. (smiles) Little guy has me wrapped around his fin...

I completely went overboard with henna on my arm. I am pretty sure I will soon be quitting starbucks to set up a cardboard booth on the streets of nashville, drawing henna on tourists for rent money.

ANNNNNnnnnnnd Kristin and Faith still can't dive

the end.