5.6.11

dreidels and routines.

Routine.
It's something that can be a part of our lives without even realizing it. Such as: brushing our teeth, washing our face (which... can I say, my skin has never been more disgusting in my life than it is being now - and I think it's because I have just now started washing it... I should never have started facial hygiene), eating dinner, or feeding our fish.

But routine goes even deeper than steps around the house. Every day I talk to Cristina, in person or on the phone. Every day I end up singing along to JET in the car. Multiple times a day I send up prayers to God for patience and trust.

Isn't it crazy how the world ends for about five minutes when one of these things doesn't take place. It's a withdrawal. The normality of life slips away and you feel slightly out of place. If I don't talk to Cristina, I quickly feel a loss of information, because that girl has so much that happens to her in 24 hours that I HAVE to keep up with her regularly. If I don't sing JET in the car, I find myself rushing home and playing it on my laptop as I fall a sleep. And I have never not prayed for patience and trust, but if I suddenly let go of that routine I am pretty sure I would be living out that Pink song, "Im lying here on the floor where you left me... I think I took too much, what have I done?"

Basically I am in a state of withdrawal, as pathetic as that sounds. And no, it is not from alcohol, and it is not from drugs, and it is not from nicotine. It is not from Cristina, or JET. But I am fervently leaning onto those prayers previously mentioned, and that's all I can do for now (smiles)

PS. have I mentioned yet that I am pretty sure I am going to be a dreidel for Halloween?