LEARNING.
I am learning, and will ever be learning, the fullness and utter epicness of God. Apparently my shmancy Apple laptop does not think that "epicness" is a real word, but it is sadly mistaken. Something that God spoke to me tonight was how filling He was. Filling in the sense of completing me. He is the portion that sustains every area in my life where depravation once stood. He rises above everything I felt I had been giving up the last 2 months. Those relationships, those scenes, those mindsets, those emotions, those attachments that I shut doors on, that I thought made me who I was, in no way compare to the satisfaction of the Lord that has replaced them.
He is romancing me and luring me in like no male has. His words mean far more to me than that of any past boyfriend. His re-affirming whisper of "you're beautiful, you're a gem, you're prized" is treasured deeper in my heart than the same words spoken from any male's mouth.
He is providing me with opportunities of growth daily. He is pouring into me wisdom and knowledge from friends that is increasing my desire to pursue with even more force. His love has given me confidence. His grace has given me peace. His generosity is teaching me humbleness. And can I say, I can really suck at being humble. I have noticed that I am a very selfish person at times. Being an only child, and home schooled, can often times result in the "selfish syndrome". I am determined to be broken and re-built. Neigh. I am determined to see myself for who I am already am, by the hand of God, which is patient and selfless.
Can I also say that I am SO not looking forward to getting up at 6:30 am. I really really really hope that this little stud of a 5 month old is pretty chill. For his sake.
ALSO - I am realizing that I enjoy not having a radio in my car. There is so much opportunity for knowledge within silence.