Hi Self, Gotta Love Ya.

THIS WEEK I HAD A THERAPY SESSION WITH MYSELF. I HATE THESE SESSIONS. IF THERE IS ONE THING I DISLIKE IN THE WORLD MORE THAN THE FACT THAT I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH JOHN MAYER, IT IS CONFRONTING MY EMOTIONS. I HAVE THE GIFT OF ANALYZING THINGS THAT STEM FROM THE HEAD, NOT THE HEART. I LOVE REWINDING ONE'S ACTIONS AND CONNECTING THEM TO THEIR CORRESPONDING THOUGHTS. HOW A PERSON GETS FROM POINT A TO POINT B. WHEN MATTERS OF THE HEART THAT ARE INCAPABLE OF CORRESPONDING WITH HEAD ARE THROWN INTO THE EQUATION, I AM LEFT FRUSTRATED BEYOND BELIEF. ESPECIALLY WITH MYSELF. AFTER THREE QUARTERS OF AN HOUR VIGOROUSLY DELVING INTO MY OWN SOUL, I CAN BE FOUND ON THE PHONE WITH FAITH, VENTING MY FRUSTRATIONS. SHE IS THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE OF MYSELF, FULLY UNDERSTANDING AND RELATING TO THE TWISTS AND TURNS OF THE HEART. AFTER WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT ARE SLIPPED MY WAY, I USUALLY SPEND THE REMAINDER OF THE EVENING STAINING THE PAGES OF MY JOURNAL WITH PURPLE INK, IN THE FORM OF A PRAYER. THIS WEEK, THOUGH, I BRANCHED OUT. I SPECIFICALLY ASKED GOD FOR PEACE IN THE FORM OF AN INFORMATIVE DREAM. CLEARLY DEPICTING THE COMFORT AND LOVE I WILL RECEIVE FROM MY FUTURE SPOUSE. CALL ME A ROMANTIC, A NUTCASE, A FREAK (I OFTEN TIMES CALL MYSELF THESE THINGS...) - BUT GOD SURE DID ANSWER MY REQUESTS WITH FLYING COLORS. I OFTEN TIMES, IN MY HEAD, IMAGINE THE EMOTIONS ATTACHED WITH "THE ONE", BUT NEVER HAVE I FELT SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL AND EFFORTLESS AS I HAD IN MY DREAM. 

THE DREAM:

I WAS IN MY WEDDING GOWN. TEN MINUTES AWAY

FROM WALKING DOWN THE AISLE AND SAYING MY

VOWS. NATURALLY I HAD A FREAK OUT MOMENT AND

DECLARED THAT I ABSOLUTELY MUST SEE MY FIANCE

BEFORE I WALKED DOWN THE AISLE. I RAN OUTSIDE TO 

A TOUR BUS, IN WHICH MY HUSBAND WAS GETTING READY. 

APPARENTLY THE TOUR BUS WAS OUR GET AWAY CAR, AND

NEEDED SOME OILING UP BEFORE THE CEREMONY. I WALKED 

IN, AND ALL OF THE GROOMSMEN STARTED FREAKING OUT 

THAT I WAS GOING TO BE SEEN BY MY SPOUSE BEFORE  

THE CEREMONY. SO CLEARLY, I REMEMBER MY MAN TURNING

AROUND AND SEEING ME IN MY DRESS, UTTERLY DUMBFOUNDED

BY MY BEAUTY. HE DROPPED THE TOOLS HE WAS HOLDING,

WALKED OVER TO ME, AND SAID , "I AM THE LUCKIEST GUY IN

THE WORLD. I DO NOT DESERVE YOU. ..." AS HE EMBRACED ME 

I KNEW I WAS MARRYING MY BEST FRIEND, MY SOUL MATE, 

THE MAN THAT GOD HAD SET A SIDE FOR ME SINCE THE BEGINNING

OF TIME. THIS WAS WHAT LOVE FELT LIKE. 

(AAAAND END AWKWARD ROMANCE NOVEL PARAGRAPH)

WAKING UP THE FOLLOWING MORNING I FELT AS IF A FILTER HAD BEEN REMOVED FROM MY EYES, AND MY VISION COULD NOW BE FOCUSED ON IT'S ORIGINAL PATH. AS IF MY HEART WAS IN TUNE TO MY HEAD. NEEDLESS TO SAY, ADORNED IN MY A.M. HAIR AND BUNNY SLIPPERS, I DID A LITTLE JESUS JIG. POINT OF THIS BLOG? I NEVER REALLY HAVE A POINT... BUT IF YOU UNCOVER ONE THAT SUITS YOU, CLAIM IT. OWN IT. JUST LIKE I OWN THE FACT THAT I WILL ONE DAY BE MRS. MAYER/ROGERS.