UPSIDE: MARIAH CAREY, BING CROSBY, NAT KING COLE, AND HARRY CONICK JR. DRIFTING THROUGH THE ROOMS OF 90% OF HUMBLE HOMES. CHEGNOGG LATES FROM STARBUCKS. BONFIRES. TOASTED MARSHMALLOWS (THE EDIBLE WHITE KIND. NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH MY EXTENDED FAMILY'S CAT). TWINKLY LIGHTS. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, JUSTIN BIEBER KNOCKING UP A RANDOM WOMAN. THANK YOU AMERICA.
DOWNSIDE: WHEN THE BRISK WEATHER ROLLS INTO TOWN, SO DO THE ROMANTICALLY DEPRIVED EGOS WITHIN THE AVERAGE HUMAN BEING. I HAVE NOTICED, AFTER MANY YEARS OF OBSERVATION, COUPLES TEND TO FORM RIGHT TOWARDS THE END OF OCTOBER. ALAS, THEY TEND TO DISSIPATE NEAR THE END OF SPRING. A DEAR FRIEND OF MINE OPENLY ADMITTED TO NOT ALLOWING HERSELF ANY ROMANTIC INVOLVEMENT FROM NOVEMBER THROUGH JANUARY, DUE TO VULNERABILITY. I ADMIT, THAT MY ROMANTICALLY DEPRIVED EGO DOES TEND TO POKE IT'S HEAD FROM BEHIND CLOSED DOORS THIS TIME OF YEAR. I AM NOT IMMUNE. YET I CAN HONESTLY SAY THAT I HAVE NOT PARTICIPATED IN THE SPONTANEOUS SHORT TERM RELATIONSHIP THAT USUALLY WALKS HAND IN HAND WITH SAID EGO. I PREFER TO FULFILL THOSE DESIRES WITH IMAGES OF JOHN MAYER, CHRIS BROWN, MAX ROGERS, AND GERARD BUTLER ON A REGULATED, EVERY 3 HOURS, SCHEDULE.
STUMBLING BLOCKS: PLAID SHIRTS. SCRUFF. MEN WHO PULL OF SCARVES. MISTLETOE. FIRELIGHT. EXCESSIVELY SPIKED HOT APPLE CIDER. CHAPSTICK ACCENTUATING THE FULLNESS OF LIPS.
