WORDS.
THEY CANNOT EXPRESS HOW DIFFICULT THIS WEEK HAS BEEN. LEARNING HOW TO HONOR PEOPLE, WITHOUT HONORING THEIR ACTIONS, HAS GOT TO BE ONE OF THE MOST INTENSE AND UNPLEASANT THINGS I HAVE EVER HAD TO DEAL WITH. ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY ARE SOME OF THE CLOSEST PEOPLE TO MY HEART.
(SERIOUSLY JUST THOUGHT IRVING DIED.... MY HEART IS NOW BEATING A THOUSAND TIMES A MINUTE)
GOD IS TEACHING ME TO LOVE, AND BE BOLD. I HAVE A BOLD NATURE WITHIN ME, THIS ISN'T A LIE. YET, AT THE SAME TIME, I AM A PEOPLE PLEASER. ESPECIALLY TOWARDS THOSE WHO ARE HEAVILY INVOLVED IN MY LIFE. I AM LEARNING THAT MY FEELINGS AND BELIEFS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE MUTE. MY LOVE IS NOT MEANT TO BE WITHHELD. AND SOMEHOW, SOMEWAY, I HAVE TO LEARN TO BRING THESE TWO POINTS INTO A LIFE TOGETHER. STRESS-O-METER IS RIDICULOUSLY HIGH. I WISH THERE WAS A MANUAL, WITH A STEP BY STEP PROCESS, ON HOW TO ACHIEVE THE UN-ACHIEVEABLE. YES. I KNOW FAITH IN CHRIST IS THE ANSWER. DING DING DING. DOUBLE JEOPARDY. AND YES, I DO HAVE FAITH. BUT THERE ARE TWO EXAMPLES IN THE BIBLE THAT I FEEL COULD TAKE PLACE IN THIS SCENARIO. THERE WAS ZECHARIAH, TO WHOM WAS TOLD HIS WIFE WOULD BE WITH CHILD. HIS RESPONSE: HOW CAN THIS BE? THEN THERE IS MARY, TO WHOM WAS TOLD SHE WOULD BEAR THE SON OF GOD. HER RESPONSE: HOW WILL THIS BE? ZECHARIAH HAD UNBELIEF IN THE PROVISION, AND WAS MADE MUTE. MARY HAD FAITH, AND WAS MERELY ASKING HOW IT WOULD COME ABOUT. I CHOOSE TO RELATE TO MAMA MARY. I BELIEVE IN FAVOR. I BELIEVE IN THE IMPOSSIBLE. AT THE MOMENT, THOUGH, I AM STILL BAFFLED ON HOW GOD IS GONNA PULL THIS ONE OUT OF HIS BLACK TOP HAT.
HAPPY NOTE:
I UNFOLDED, AND
DECORATED MY
METALLIC BLUE,
PRE-LIT CHRISTMAS
TREE TODAY. WITH
THE MOST ECLECTIC
ARRAY OF ORNAMENTS
KNOWN TO MANKIND.
