NOW.

Ever since I was little, I have had this doomsday thought, that I was going to die young. I've never told anybody this before. I have no idea why I have even imagined this. The older I get, the more I realize that it's probably not the case, but I believe that I hold onto the thought in as much of a positive light as I can. Ridiculous? Probably so.

I have embraced many adventurous. The instant I could get my first tattoo, I did. The instant I was offered an opportunity to leave the country for the first time, I did. The instant I saw a Groupon for skydiving, I bought it. The instant a boy from Belfast asked if he could kiss me, I obliged. These are all somewhat minuscule, compared to the tales of others, but for me they were huge, even vital, experiences in my life.

Though, before any of those experiences came into play, I struggled with depression. I was seeing a counselor. I was on medications. I even tried to overdose a couple of times. After struggling with this for far too long, I had a friend somewhat-force me to acknowledge that I was "sick". The main thing, that really helped me come to the same conclusion, was that I was asked to go to China and minister to students. I couldn't see how I could tell my students that Christ could save them from their pain and suffering, if I wasn't even allowing myself to open up to that blessing. I went to the cross. I was healed.

A couple of years after that, I had four people in my life pass away, within an 11 month time span. I was wrecked. I couldn't fathom that if my attempts at overdosing had worked, I would leave my family and friends feeling exactly how I felt every time I found out that someone I loved died. From that moment on, I decided to take life by the horns, and experience the world while I could.

A lot of people identify me as care free, even careless. A hippie. Most of those titles come with negative connotations, but after experiencing what life is like in a dark box, I have made a conscious effort to soak in the time God has blessed me with here on earth.

This year I am traveling to Israel for two weeks, without a group, just myself. I am packing up my car with whatever fits, including my best friend and my cat, and moving across the country. I don't have a job lined up yet, and I don't have a place to live. All I have is my faith and my free spirit guiding me. That's all I need.

NOW is the time of your life.
NOT tomorrow, next week, or next year.
NOT when you get married.
NOT after you have kids.
NOW.