Ideals.
I am confident that they are never constant, and always evolving. Just as I am ever evolving. If I were to have the same standards and dreams that I had when I was 10, I would be pursuing a marriage with Zac Hanson, would have hair like Zenon Girl from the 21st Century, and would have a tattoo of a Swedish Fish on my shoulder blade. Praise the Lord for grace, and growth.
I mostly bring this up, because I have been noticing that the characteristic traits I used to desire in a man, my counterpart, are becoming far more intriguing, whereas a six+ years ago I would have found them utterly boring. As I continue to pursue a relationship with the Lord, and myself (let's be honest, you have to know yourself, to know what you want), my eyes have opened to the fact that I am a completely different person.
I used to want to date a musician, who was a mountain man, was covered in tattoos, was just as loud and stubborn as I am, and wasn't a hopeless romantic.
After living in Nashville, I have quickly realized that the last thing I would want is to date someone who is pursuing music performance as a career. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore music. A man who can play the guitar and sing me a song he has written about our dorky love story, is basically a guarantee that I will melt in a puddle of bliss in his arms. But I would want him to play for his enjoyment, for fun, and not as a career. I have seen the ego that can take over a person who is pushing his way into the industry. Not always, but often, their personality evolves into a womanizing, power hungry orb.
A mountain man, definitely still attractive, but as a hobby, once in a while. I have found that I am more drawn to a man who wants to sit in his living room by a fire, reading a book, or listening to a podcast. Furthering his knowledge on the affairs of life, character, and relationships with community. For me, I want to have a counterpart that is intellectually challenging me. Someone I can sit with on the couch and pick each other's brains on theology, sociology, and the latest episode of The Bachelor (okay, that last one might be pushing it, but a girl can dream). Then, on some weekends, we can go hiking and exploring together, as a treat. Not per say, as a lifestyle.
Stubborn - yes. I still think that is necessary to be in a relationship with me. I will run over any guy that doesn't have balls to stand up to me. Even though I am stubborn, I want to grow, and I often need a good shove to open up my awareness, and if my counterpart is too afraid to give me that extra push, then I become the man in the relationship. That segues into me also desiring a man who respects me as a woman. Who gently helps affirm my feminity and beauty. Who can understand that a girl sometimes needs a flower, or a hug. Someone to just look at her from across the room, and walk over to kiss her. I personally need reassurance.
I guess the above paragraph show the little bits of hopeless romantic I would like. But, if a guy is nothing but mooshy gooshy, and isn't sarcastic, I have immediately dismissed him.
Now, here's to hoping Jesus sends me my man soon.
K bye.
